Cat Clinic of Cary Blog
Getting Through Grief: Helping Your Child Cope With Pet Loss
The process of grief varies by individual, but a child interprets death – especially the loss of a beloved pet – in ways different from an adult’s. If you have an older pet, or one with failing health, you can help your child cope with pet loss before the sad, but inevitable, event occurs. However, there are unforeseen accidents or injuries that take the lives of pets too quickly, making it even more complicated and challenging for a child to understand.
We are here to help you and your family, and offer the following tips to support you through the range of complex emotions that naturally unfurl after the loss of a pet.
Where To Begin
Loss of the family pet is devastating – and not only for your child. Making sure that you take care of yourself by getting enough rest will allow you to take better care of your hurting loved ones. Parents naturally want to soothe any pain for a child, but the strong grip of grief can make it hard to know how to make a child feel better. Children at different developmental stages have various ideas and thus understand death differently.
We recommend that parents:
- Allow a child to grieve in his or her own way, and do not impose a schedule or click on the length of the process. Feelings of guilt, anger, and sadness may pervade all normal routines and activities, but helping a child understand these intense emotions is critical toward healing.
- Try to be as understanding as possible, and anticipate that upsets or emotional tailspins can occur anytime and anyplace following the death of a loved one.
- Encourage your child to express his or her emotions and be honest about death.
- If necessary, seek the help of professionals in order to assist communication and expression.
- Let your child’s teachers and caretakers know about the death in the family, and be available to discuss how your child might require extra support.
Supporting Your Child Cope With Pet Loss
There are many ways that you and your child can honor the memory of your pet, and we hope these suggestions can help heal the wound:
- Hold a special service or funeral for your pet. He or she may have had a favorite place to play or daydream, and reserving that place will not only help preserve his or her memory, but allows for a concrete place to visit (and remember) your pet.
- Go through your photographs together and recount the captured memories of your pet. Creating a scrapbook together can be soothing activity and, when you finish, you’ll have a tangible item to hold and reconnect with your pet.
- There are symbolic gestures that hold special meaning for grieving children and pet owners, namely the opportunity to light a candle, and memorialize your pet on our pet wall.
- Making a donation to a shelter or rescue in your pet’s name can also be a lovely way of respecting your pet’s memory, and help another pet in need.
- To help your child cope with pet loss and continue feelings of connection to your pet (and if age-appropriate), offer a keepsake, such as the collar, leash, tags, or a toy.
Feeling Better
Pet lovers often feel empty, alone, and despondent following the death of a beloved four-legged friend, but adopting another pet too soon can backfire. Experts agree that before adopting again, your heart should be entirely open to loving and caring for another pet. This can take up to a year, if at all, but one thing’s for sure: your child should not feel like your family is replacing the late pet or trying to duplicate the special relationship he or she previously had.
Please give us a call if you have any questions about helping a child cope with pet loss, we are always here for you!